Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Pregnancy Diaries 2: Telling people you are pregnant...

So...we are still in 2007. Life is about to change forever...
 
Ours is a one billion plus population that is not bursting at the seams. It has already burst, though no one appears to have noticed it. It is a culture in which people have absolutely no qualms in asking completely random strangers any or all of the following:
Do you have children? And God forbid if your answer is no, then
When are planning to have one? OR
Is there something wrong? I know of very good doctor. You should go to him/her.
Given this background, we are surprisingly shy, superstitious and secretive about announcing the pregnancy to the world when it finally happens!
Though couples these days are more open about announcing that they are pregnant, (honestly, is it illegal?) the three month milestone is still widely followed and buying clothes till the brat arrives, still taboo. And there exist very many allusions and metaphors for referring to the actual pregnancy.
There is the all-famous Bengali one… “notun khobor” (New news). I seriously haven’t figured this one out. Surely news is always new and surely, new news can refer to a vast plethora of things from chemical warfare and oil wars  to the more mundane divorce and marital scandals and for me…errr, where has the newest restaurant opened. (I admit it sounds a wee bit shallow, but food is an all-consuming passion, and I better be on the-first-to-know list!)
But here was my mother dialling every relative in questions once the sacrosanct three month milestone has been crossed, saying, “Aye-je, Tulir (yessssss Tuli is my Bong pet name, didn’t you know it!) notun khobor aache.” (Tuli has “new” news, i.e., she is going to have a baby) I wanted to point out it wasn’t really “notun khobor”, since it was already three months past, but decided not to act extra testy and hormonally annoying in my pregnant state!
Naturally, people were thrilled. My parents, typically more reticent, were worriedly happy, aware as they were of my generally complicated medical history. Amit’s parents were ecstatic, awaiting their first grand-child.
But the classic response was from my child-hood friend Rima who has known me since our bespectacled, neatly plaited, “good girl days” in Fort Convent. She was one of the first people I called to tell about the pregnancy, and after the initial “Congratulations, I am so happy for you,” there was a longish, uncomfortable silence. Dropping her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, she said, “But whose is it?”
“What do you mean, whose is it?,” I shrieked indignantly on the phone, my moral righteousness all ruffled.
“No, it’s just that Amit has been in the U.S. for a while…and so,” she trailed off, sheepishly.
“My god, Rima. I see I don’t score very highly on your List of Honourable People,” I said, quite tickled.  
And today, as I stare into a pair of distinctly Bengali shaped eyes, looking at me however, with a stubborn, smouldering look, which I have encountered ever so often before, I smile. DNA mixes and works in mysterious ways...
 
…and while at times, you look and see a refreshed version of yourself, at other times, you see a glimpse of your co-creator. And in this miracle of the known with the new, you remember the One who is responsible for life. For creation. And for the incredible perfection of it all.



 
Our Very Own Frankenstein, sorry err, Creation!

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